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| Poetics - Montparnasse has two meanings: One is Miller depicts Montparnasse in Tropic of Cancer. Another is the first time I was in Paris, I left my suitcase in the locker in Montparnasse, on the way to Andreas. This place, this occasion recalls my memory, twice. Simply because M as a symbol, a sign, within the realm of poetry.
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Haven't updated for a while, here's my latest that I write it down for myself, in case I will forget:
My whole October has been stuffed with school work and my shitty part-time work. And it got me very stressed since my Finnish godmother came to pay me a visit. After that her goddaughter came to visit and stay over as well. Then my little brother came from Durham to stay over his half-term holiday. It is just fucking hectic, honestly.
24 October 2009 / around 23:00: I spoke to Harmony Korine after his new film screening in London Film Festival. I was completely bottled up. He flirted with me by sending me an air kiss and it made me blush.
I love Trash Humpers a lot since I spent a lot time with VHS in my childhood, I like the surface of the material. I have a tape of Kieslowski's La Double Vie de Veronique (I recorded it by myself), after this tape has been recorded for a hundred times, there is a very interesting texture, like ghost image, I find a certain aesthetics from it.
Any how, I was actually looking at people leaving during Korine's film. 2 girls were sitting next to me went really shocked, they were like "omg, omg!", then they dashed out of the cinema - while the humpers were slapping the fat prostitude's ass. I especially like the ending when the mamma (played by Rachel his wife) humming a lullaby to Lefty (Their new-born baby last year) under the lamp post. It is so sweet that I couldn't sleep on that night.
28 October 2009 / 20:00: I went to Barbican Center to see Efterklang's concert, they play Parades with Britten Sinfonia from Cambridge (I think). I was sitting on the first row, was touched by their live performance. I was struck by the immense power of music, then I burst into sobs. At the end of the night, Casper shaked hand with me. I couldn't wash my right hand for the rest of the week.
29 October 2009 / 21:30 (I think): I went to see my lesbian friend Kirsti in Old street. She is my only friend in my uni. We were going to screen Jodorowsky's The Holy Mountain. But we ended up took meph and went really fucked. Somebody ate a dead Chongololo that K brought from South Africa. However, we had some life time experiences, K wee in a measuring cup and asked us all guess how much does she pisses. I thought she only pissed about 300 ml, Majbrit guessed 325ml and it was the closest. Then K came up with a mad idea of drinking the cup of piss. Then I said, "if Tess up for it, I will up for it." Then we poured K's piss into a wine cup then I proposed a toast, "For Health, for everybody." Everybody in the room were disgusted by three of us. K, Tess, and me had a sip of the piss, and it actually wasn't THAT bad. Provided that you are on a healthy diet. It is warm, and it is salty. Then Tess pissed in a cup afterwards and get us to drink. Her piss is much more salty, and it's kinda weird and tastes like meph. According to her explanation, that is because she had sushi and Soya sauce in the afternoon. In fact they would have tasted my piss but I was on my period, so I think it will just tastes like blood. Then later on in the midnight, we started to do body paint. K was covered head to toe in bright, fluorescent coloured paint, naked. And tess just looks like a Nazi.
In the morning they spent an hour in the bath wash off the acrylic paint.
02 November - 08 November 2009 - I was ill, the bad flu had been on and off for the whole week. I was in bed for most of the time. I had illusion, mystic sound from nowhere, my feet look like moving. I had a temperature and sore throat. I was very poorly and I thought that I was dying, then I started to ring everyone that I am suffering both mentally and physically. Andreas rang me and it made me much better. But he made me really want to go to Paris. I was in torment of life, of everything again. But this time I didn't cry at all. I think I am becoming more brave to confront the world. But overall I think it just because of the piss.
09 November 2009 - I had a serious arguement with my mum on Chirstianity. She tried really hard to preach me back to Church but I refused to. Then she called me "cold-blood" and go to hell. This is one of the harshest I've ever heard in my own life. A woman saying this to her own daughter, it is very upsetting and also worring. But after I read an article by Sophie Calle the other day and it made me smile. Also, I watched The Holy Mountain by myself and his documentary, and then was so astonished by reading an interview with Jodorowsky on Religion and Tarot etc. in the latest Acne paper. (It also features another interview with Lynch which I am very pleased with.)
10 November 2009 - I gotta work for Andreas on Thursday, and take a break in Paris for a long weekend. Then come back next Wednesday. The week after I am off to Oslo for an art trip for 5 days, to have a cup of coffee with Olav who is a comparative literature post-grad, and Kings of Convenience. So I've spent pretty much of the money that I've earned for last few months.
Since when I've become a human being like this?
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| bored, poking around on my stalkers pages, found out a referrer "scars on land", it then becomes my favourite quote for this week.
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Apart from Lady & Bird's latest album Forward & Reverse, Atlas Sound, Bradford Cox of Deerhunter's solo project is one of my current tune. It reminds me of his live around King's Cross last year, he was on the stage, his abnormal skinny body was enduring the ceaseless world. | | |
|  我總想成為拉走很多人的心的人，例如某些浪蕩的吉普賽女孩，例如某些拉小提琴的樂手。缺遺的兩眼，別過臉，或變獸，或化蝶，什麼也好。
挪威男人送來了蒼白的月亮，裹住了入秋的氣息，是微弱的新月，是其中一首叫做「大路」的歌，說，留給舊日撿下琴弦的情人，當一個她裸體的時候，天空便會變得很灰暗。 | | |
| 我曾愛過詩人、樂手，也愛過毒販，而今面對著藍藍的海，總會想像你伏在案頭，恐怕快斷氣的樣子。雖然這種心臟停頓與死亡的親近安靜細微而且暴烈，對於缺席的你，正如布希亞所言「可是過份親暱，承擔的決裂，這種親近久而久之，在穿越數千里沙漠的過程中，會變得和犯罪一樣讓人難以忍受。實際上，某些事情確實就是如此。」 「當雪下得異常地緩慢時，那么死亡的道理似乎就比活著的道理更加巧妙。但活著的道理或許更多。」
August 1, 1949 - September 11, 2009 (Aged 60)
"I will climb on top of it and come
In and out of time,
Cocking my head to the side slightly,
As I finish shaking, melting then
Into its body, its soft skin."
--Jim Carroll, "Poem"
from Void of Course (1998) | | |
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